Britain, in Limericks

So, Miriam being Miriam and me being me, and long train and subway rides being occasionally boring, we came out of the trip with a small collection of limericks, commemorating various places and events. Here they are, in chronological order by subject (not by creation). Enjoy.

The Circle line runs all around
And Picadilly cuts across town
We got on the District
But found we had tricked it
It took us not uptown but down.

After waiting outside for an age
I stood down at the base of the stage
The actors did pace
Right in front of my face
Like fearsome wild beasts in a cage

Just after the play's final scene
We were yearning for Indian cuisine
But nowhere on Drury
Could we find Tandoori
At 11 PM -- that's obscene!

In the beautiful city of Bath
We walked up and down every path
We had to exclaim
Over everything's name:
"Of Bath" and "of Bath" and "of Bath!"

If Bath Spa is your destination
Then throughout your whole visitation
The end of the line
Of each bloody sign
Will remind you about your location

Is Glastonbury Tor worth the fuss?
It was well worth the hiking for us
In the blustery blast
We gazed out 'till half-past
Then we dashed back downhill to the bus

Out at Stonehenge we saw the big rocks
And one of them there even talks
If you ask him politely
He'll tell you that nightly
The Druids dance 'round in their socks.

Sweeping, majestic and regal
Is Salisbury's famous cathedral
But we showed up so late
They were closing the gate
So we sighed and admired the steeple

While training from Salisbury to Bath
Engineering work lay in our path
So onto a bus
They deposited us
While the workers all had a good laugh.

In Yorkshire confusion's complete
Where the terms "bar" and "gate" have me beat
By the river called Ouse
A bar won't serve booze--
It's a gate! And "gate" means a street.

In Scotland's fair capital, people
Can stare, stupefied, at a steeple
Or tarry a while
Upon Royal Mile
And dine upon something uneatable

"Make Poverty History now!"
Cried the Edinburgh protesting crowd
And they marched 'round the street
'Till they fell off their feet
(Or whatever it was they'd avowed).

[for Borden]
Your friends from the U.S. of Am.
Have brought you some shortbread and jam
With thanks for your kindness
They hope you will find this
With love, from Miriam and Graham

There once was a fellow named Gideon
Who lived on the Greenwich Meridian
Inter-hemisphere travel
Makes others unravel
But for him it was strictly quotidian

At Oxford a student named Howard
Had an outlook too ivory-towered
So he switched to All Soul's
And restructured his goals
Now he's hunting the mythical mallard