Mom is having a Halloween Limerick contest at work and enlisted my suggestions. Here's what you get when you leave me alone for an hour with that idea. Make up your own and leave them in the comments!
From the "I Can't Believe I Ate the Whole Bag" Department
Start with Gobstoppers, Skittles, and Twix,
Add some Baby Ruth bars to the mix,
Stir in the Kit Kats,
And some marshmallow bats,
And your sweet tooth will have quite a fix!
Butterfinger, Snickers, and Mounds,
I measure my carbs by the pound!
With 3 Musketeers,
Coming out of my ears,
My failing heart makes not a sound.
From the "Scary Yet Repentant" Department
When a frightening thing with a sack,
Shows up at the door of my shack,
I shoot it on sight,
Then, very contrite,
I go bury the child out back.
From the "Arsenic and Old Lace" Department
Where the old Brewster sisters abide,
You'll find several dead bodies to hide,
The elderberry wine,
Masks arsenic, strychnine,
And a pinch -- just a pinch! -- of cyanide.
(Yeah, I know, it doesn't scan quite right. Oh well.)
From the "Off-Topic But At Least It's Bipartisan" Department
What really fills me full of fright,
Is the week after Hallowe'en night,
Or a senile geezer,
I surely do hope we choose right!
From the "Teasing Mom About Her Limerick Attempts" Department
If your badly-planned limerick dies,
Just pray from the dead it may rise,
To terrorize villages,
With rapings and pillages,
And possibly gouging out eyes.