Halloween Limericks

Mom is having a Halloween Limerick contest at work and enlisted my suggestions. Here's what you get when you leave me alone for an hour with that idea. Make up your own and leave them in the comments!

From the "I Can't Believe I Ate the Whole Bag" Department

Start with Gobstoppers, Skittles, and Twix,
Add some Baby Ruth bars to the mix,
Stir in the Kit Kats,
And some marshmallow bats,
And your sweet tooth will have quite a fix!

Butterfinger, Snickers, and Mounds,
I measure my carbs by the pound!
With 3 Musketeers,
Coming out of my ears,
My failing heart makes not a sound.

From the "Scary Yet Repentant" Department

When a frightening thing with a sack,
Shows up at the door of my shack,
I shoot it on sight,
Then, very contrite,
I go bury the child out back.

From the "Arsenic and Old Lace" Department

Where the old Brewster sisters abide,
You'll find several dead bodies to hide,
The elderberry wine,
Masks arsenic, strychnine,
And a pinch -- just a pinch! -- of cyanide.

(Yeah, I know, it doesn't scan quite right. Oh well.)

From the "Off-Topic But At Least It's Bipartisan" Department

What really fills me full of fright,
Is the week after Hallowe'en night,
Whether terrorist-pleaser,
Or a senile geezer,
I surely do hope we choose right!

From the "Teasing Mom About Her Limerick Attempts" Department

If your badly-planned limerick dies,
Just pray from the dead it may rise,
To terrorize villages,
With rapings and pillages,
And possibly gouging out eyes.

Not a Good Week to Be My Car

... Or my bank account, for that matter. Last Friday I got stuck in the Trader Joe's parking lot with a bag of groceries (luckily only one frozen item) and Iris refusing to start. Got her towed to a shop and outfitted with a new main fuse, new starter, and replacements for some burnt out wiring, all to the tune of nearly $500.

Then today I was driving back from visiting Dad et al in Rio Vista. Somewhere along Highway 4, I saw something fly up into the air ahead of me, presumably out of someone else's car. I couldn't tell what it was, but figured it was just some litter, since it seemed to rise so high up into the air. It proved to be something fairly substantial, though, when it smashed into my windshield. Sigh.

Anyway, Iris took the injuries from it and will be getting a new windshield tomorrow, and I'm fine. Unfortunately I've got a high enough insurance deductible that I'll be paying for this, too. I just hope I've now worked through whatever bad "car-ma" I apparently had to work though.